2/29/2024 0 Comments Moment of truth kasie westI guess I thought if I did the most and did it the best maybe I could make them. “Yes, I always have to be better and do more. “I kind of live in his shadow and have been trying to get out of it for years.” But it would turn those feelings into pity and I wasn’t ready for that. “So your brother is a screwup like me and he gets all the attention for it?”ĭid I want to tell him? I knew it would clear up some of the bad feelings he might have over what I’d said. “I’m sure you can guess that it’s not really about you.” “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked. I pulled my sleeves over my hands and used them again to wipe beneath my eyes, sure they were black with mascara. And the lake was a dark sheet of glass below us. Wildflowers covered the ground where the cars hadn’t driven. “Yes.” Then, after a minute of silence added, “But not in the way you’re thinking. “It was the first quiet place I could think of.” I turned my gaze to him and he held up his hands. This was the side where everyone at school went to drink or make out. This wasn’t the side of the lake I swam on. He’d driven us to Lookout Point above the lake. I sat up, wiped my cheeks with my sleeve, and peered out the front window. The seat smelled a little of gas or grease or something-that old-car smell. Eventually he parked and shut off the car. I didn’t sit up to see where he was driving us, but I was glad he was leaving the school. He was quiet as he started the car and drove. Like Jackson promised, he didn’t say a word. I laid my head on the seat and let it all out. I dropped all my stuff onto the passenger-side floor and practically dived inside. He unlocked the door to his car with his weird two-lefts-and-one-right-turning method and opened it wide. We made it to the parking lot without anyone calling out to me. I hid my face against his shoulder, hoping nobody would know it was me. He brought me closer and put his arm around me. I could still hardly see, so I was glad he was guiding me. He held out his hand like a question and I took it. Why was he choosing now to be thoughtful? I had just yelled mean, awful things at him, and he stood there offering me salvation. Or I can drive you to a completely new location. I know it doesn’t have music, but it does have doors that can close people out. My car, you remember it, the classic, is a great place to cry. “The bell is about to ring and these halls are going to fill with people. When I didn’t, he said, “How about a different offer, then?” He pulled his car keys out of his pocket. I wore an extra absorbent sweater today.” He opened his arms like he expected me to melt into them. “Could you use someone to cry on? I think I’m good at that. “I promise I’ll leave if you want me to, but is there anything I can do? Do you want me to go get Amelia? Or call your parents?”
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